Kids don't need sleep anymore according to new report...

According to a new special report obviously done by clinicians that don't have children of their own was released today.  The study lasted exactly until just before lunch time when all 28 of the toddlers began to revolt and morph into what one researcher called "miniature dragons who had no regard for property or rational thought" It was unclear if this was the lack of nap time that caused this uproar or the fact that a rerun of Calliou was on in the background.  Researchers decided to extend the study until that evening to make sure it wasn't just a fluke. That portion of the study concluded at exactly 8:01 pm when like a time bomb, all 28 toddlers again morphed into what another researcher described as "A very calculated, almost completely planned and deliberate mass melt down. It was like they were waiting for the clock to strike 8 pm.  Then the wheels on the bus really came off. One child even said "I love not sleeping. It makes my mommy sad." 

Researchers are still stumped as to what caused these very timed and calculated melt downs but they are positive that it has NOTHING to do with getting quality sleep.  The lead researcher was quoted as saying "Yeah we don't really think kids need sleep.  It's just not obvious that they need it.  I mean, when you look at kids, they are programed to just stay awake for days on end without any problems"  When asked if the researcher himself had any children, he responded "Nope. It looks too tiring but my sister has kids and so I kinda know what its like to have kids...kinda"


Happy April Fool Day. Sleep Tight!



Share this post

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published